birthday

frosting licked lips

sweet butter creme 

sprinkles on top

party city candles drip in anguish while awaiting my wish

flame flickers 

my eyes have grown old

strained from screens and stars

my eye doctor gifts me the word photopsia

in this blurr

whirling voices consume me

congratulating me on another year 

i've felt sixteen for half a decade of denial  

how long can i squeeze?

the lust of life out of the

lungs i breathe—hyperventilating  

desperately sucking for youth that escapes me   

until my age is an absent excuse 

for my teenage blues gnawing

at my hips that have widened 

and my breast that have flattened from starvation

this day of decay 

tucks my brunette hair behind my ears

and whispers words of salvation

pearls of wisdom birthed from frustration