why i write

When I think of writing, I think of all of the messes I have made on paper. I have a public persona of being clean, neat and organized, my final papers are crisp and effortless. Behind closed doors, when it comes to writing for my English classes, I have had drafts decorated with an assortment of substances. From pasta sauce and grease stains from writing at the dinner table, to my tears bleeding the ink across the page. Using drafts as my literal napkin has always been a comfort and metaphor for my artistic style. 

I have always grown up a crybaby, emotions gushing from sensitivity or frustration with being unable to complete a task. This vulnerability has often been a strength in my writing that captures my audiences with its relatability. I think the romanticized cleaned up product of something quite traumatic has a sort of engaging spell over its readers.

Writing has often been an outlet for me to overshare, and I found out that with a few artistic tweaks, people willingly listen to me. From being an overly emotional person, I often have felt shame in finding comfort in immediate human interaction. From embarrassment of being perceived as messy or “too sensitive” I tend to withdraw into my own mind for comfort. This sort of introspection led to a heightened sense of self awareness that naturally transcended my writing ability. 

Having a mature sense of communication quickly gave me the confidence in my writing and also the interest of consuming literature at an early age. It was empowering to have an outlet of expression that transformed my feelings of shame and insecurity into polished reflections of wisdom or self compassion that was not available to me through the moments of frustration. Writing constantly challenges my mental narrative, and my outlook on life. Writing gives me the choice of who I want to be and present, by removing me from being the victim of my own story. I have a voice in my writing, one that is my own. A voice that can not be triumphed by pain, because writing is evidence of resilience… and baby I am elastic.   

For those who read my work, I appreciate your support and time. I hope you are able to connect with the words on the page. These are all pieces of work that I have created through processing a range of human emotions that I think everyone can resonate with to a certain extent. Take what feels right and leave what does not. I understand that this content may not be for everyone. My writing style is often graphic, though it serves narrative purposes, it may be difficult for some people to read. Protect your peace when necessary and enjoy!!!!!! :3