desperate to forget

do you cauterize your wounds shut?  

i've grown tired from each repetitive  

grab of roots, fistfuls 

more faithful toward memories than truth

weeds that won't dwindle  

until the whole forest is burned to ash  

entire ecosystems silenced by scorch 

can you ever cut it out entirely? 

futile to pick and press on

a cyst oozing with pus

you refuse to close after extraction 

i've retracted my hands

yet the pulse flames hot and red beneath my skin

lesion leaking regenerative rot 

tell me, has genocide ever been absolute?

the kitchen reeks of insecticide  

infestation lines the inside of each crevice 

carcinogens cling to the table i dine 

though it's no use 

you continue to crawl in the forefront of my mind 

impossible to exterminate   

have you considered a lobotomy?

perhaps the doctor can pierce through the paired 

parietal lobes that store my  secrets 

release them onto the sterile silver platter

disposed of in medical waste 

the deeper they dig, the faster you metastasize

parasite betrothed to its hostile host  

i cannot purge you completely

without destroying myself in the process

perhaps we are one in the same 

a truth i cannot claim.